I’m missing you so badly today, sweet girl. Mama was listening to her iPod today, and one of the songs that used to lull you to sleep from the time I brought you home from the hospital, came on. It stopped me in my tracks to hear the familiar sounds and a million tiny memories of us rushed over me. I could suddenly feel your sweet, powdery skin pressed up to mine as you nursed and smiled your baby smiles. I could feel the tickles of your newborn hairs tickling my eyelashes as I remembered nuzzling the soft, sweet folds of your baby neck. I was back in that moment with just a few chords of a song. I miss you, girl, so much. What I wouldn’t give to scoop you up and twirl you into one of our famous dance parties right this very minute. Mama thinks about you every day and every night, hoping that you will always understand how hard it is for me to miss out on you growing up. Daddy takes good care of you, but he’s no substitute for Mommy, and I’m sorry I’m not with you every minute. I love you, Cori girl. I miss you. I can’t wait to see you. I’m kissing my necklace for you tonight, sweetheart, and hoping that somehow, someway, you can feel my love in this moment and every moment.
The Cowboy’s Lament by Jewel
“Oh my angel
Sweet, sweet angel
Come to me swiftly
This night so still
For dawn does come swiftly
I’ve been gone so long
But your face is so lovely
It keeps my faith strong
My hands are unsteady
I’m so far from home”
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
April 8, 2013
To my beautiful 3 year old,
I held you in my arms today, and we cried together, not wanting to let go, not knowing when we would be able to hold and kiss each other again. I'm sorry you had to cry in front of your classmates and your teachers, and Mama is sorry that you have to face this at only 3 years old. You are stronger than any preschooler should be, and I am so fortunate that I could be the one to wipe your tears when you were having such a hard time. I'm sorry that you have to face Mama and Daddy's problems at such a young age. I gave you my necklace last night and told you that any time you are missing Mama, that if you kiss that necklace, I will feel your warm little kiss on my own lips. I believe that is true, and I hope you always do too. Sadly, your necklace broke on the playground today, but Daddy tells me he will replace the chain as soon as he can, and I hope he follows through on that. I need that connection to you, my sweet Cori. Your friends were so happy to see you back at school today, and all I kept hearing was a constant stream of little voices telling you how much they missed you and how you were their friend. You are flourishing in school, my lovely girl, and I know you will continue to flourish as you grow up. You are hardly a baby anymore, and some days, I just can't believe it. One day, this will all make more sense to each of us, but until then, I hope you continue to show the strength that you have shown. You are a military child, my little one, which means you have a force within you that can overcome any struggle that comes your way. I love you, my sweet, lovely Cori Aletta.
Mama
I held you in my arms today, and we cried together, not wanting to let go, not knowing when we would be able to hold and kiss each other again. I'm sorry you had to cry in front of your classmates and your teachers, and Mama is sorry that you have to face this at only 3 years old. You are stronger than any preschooler should be, and I am so fortunate that I could be the one to wipe your tears when you were having such a hard time. I'm sorry that you have to face Mama and Daddy's problems at such a young age. I gave you my necklace last night and told you that any time you are missing Mama, that if you kiss that necklace, I will feel your warm little kiss on my own lips. I believe that is true, and I hope you always do too. Sadly, your necklace broke on the playground today, but Daddy tells me he will replace the chain as soon as he can, and I hope he follows through on that. I need that connection to you, my sweet Cori. Your friends were so happy to see you back at school today, and all I kept hearing was a constant stream of little voices telling you how much they missed you and how you were their friend. You are flourishing in school, my lovely girl, and I know you will continue to flourish as you grow up. You are hardly a baby anymore, and some days, I just can't believe it. One day, this will all make more sense to each of us, but until then, I hope you continue to show the strength that you have shown. You are a military child, my little one, which means you have a force within you that can overcome any struggle that comes your way. I love you, my sweet, lovely Cori Aletta.
Mama
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